Navigating Life’s Challenges: The Power of Emotional Intelligence

Navigating life’s challenges is often a tough and unpredictable journey, leaving us feeling frustrated and at a loss, even when we’ve poured our hearts and souls into finding solutions. Yet, amidst the struggle, there comes a moment of clarity—a realization that some things are simply beyond our control. It’s a humbling realization, but also a freeing one, as it allows us to redirect our efforts inward, towards nurturing our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence serves as our compass, guiding us through the storms of adversity with grace and resilience. By honing our ability to understand and manage our emotions, we gain a newfound sense of clarity and perspective. This newfound understanding not only helps us navigate the challenges we face but also fosters deeper connections with others, as we learn to empathize and communicate more effectively. As we continue on this journey of self-discovery and growth, we find ourselves becoming more adaptable and resilient, better equipped to handle whatever life throws our way. And while the road ahead may still be filled with obstacles, each step forward brings us closer to a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Migrate – Aye or Nay

This is the question….

Recently, people around me are either going overseas to work or to study and various folks are talking about migrating out of the country and many have chosen Australia.

I have always wondered… should I migrate too? This question has been niggling at me for years now.

Maybe the first question I should ask myself is ….why do I want to migrate?

1. The currency is very weak.
2. The management of the country has become more and more of a concern over the past years. Political issues have been increasing.
3. Is this country best suited for my child to stay in the long run?

Then perhaps I should also ask myself …. what do I like about my current country?

1. It is home. I love the culture and people (minus the political issues) and my family members who are mostly all here.
2. I have a sense of belonging because this is where my roots are.
3. I am familiar with this country and know the ins and outs of it.

Now how about ….what are the fears I have about migrating to another country?

1. It is a foreign place. It would take some time to build a sense of belonging.
2. I would have to start building a place for myself from scratch.
3. Close family members and friends are far away from me. I have to build that network from scratch.
4. The grass may seem greener on the other side but it may not be true and what if it isn’t?

Now…what’s in it for my child to migrate to another country?

1. She can have better prospects in her education and career.
2. She can earn more money considering the currency exchange which is easily 3x more.

On the reverse, what are the fears I have for my child to migrate to another country?

1. She will be away from home, far from the family. I won’t get to see her regularly anymore and would miss her dreadfully.
2. She has to start in a new place all on her own. She would have to be fully independent.
3. When she needs support physically and need a person by her side, me and hubs cannot be there for her all the time.
4. She would have to explore the new life on her own.
5. She may get bullied in a foreign country without support.

So with all being said? Which is a better idea?

Do you have any thoughts or comments to share? Would love to hear your thoughts.

How to run ambiguous projects

Project management is a science and also an art

You can learn all the project management skills from training courses, reading on the Internet, taking PMP training and certification

However, that doesn’t automatically make you a good project manager

Project management requires theory, knowledge, experiences and also a creative and innovative mind.

Managing a project with clear goals, clear requirements, sufficient resources is easy and straightforward.

However, managing a project with a vision only and limited resources is difficult.

As the Project Manager, it is up to you to build the goals, work with your team and customers on building the requirements, find a way to use the limited resources to achieve more and in a faster time to market and at the same time lead your team and stakeholders so that people are energized, excited and are supportive of your project,

If you can do this, you are really a good Project Manager.

To do this, it requires a lot of thinking out of the box, how to make the impossible possible, how to get people who are confused to be excited with your plan and to want to support you, how to be at the helm and continue to direct everybody on the path to success.

As a seasoned project manager (I really would like to refrain from calling myself “old” …hahahaa), I am always excited when I have such a project. Leading a straightforward project is too mundane for me as I have managed so many projects in my career. Being able to do things differently, to decide how I want to do it and to make it successful, that is the challenge I crave for.

Would you like to find out more on how I manage these kind of ambiguous and fuzz projects? If yes, do drop me a comment. I would love to share my experience and exchange notes. I look forward to hearing from you!

Reflection

It’s the time of the year to sit back, relax and reflect on everything that has happened in the past year.

Time flies when you are busy

And time flies even faster at the end of the year.

Months turn to weeks, weeks into days, days into hours, hours into minutes, and suddenly you are counting the seconds till the last day of the year.

There are ups and downs which everybody faces.

Nobody has a full rosy 365 days

However, you can make the best out of it, with your attitude

If you face the good days and challenging days with a positive attitude, you will come out on top!

Challenges will turn into opportunities and you will be amazed by what you can reap out of it.

This year has been tough for me. I have faced happiness, shock, grief, challenges, opportunities …well, that’s really quite a wide spectrum, isn’t it?

However, I always remind myself to stay positive.

I have my bad days where I wallow in self-pity, grief and worry

But I always remind myself that there are also a lot of good things going on in my life.

My family and friends who love me, and stick by me thru thick and thin

My work that has helped me thru my difficult times, giving me a focus and objective in life

Opportunities given by my boss, colleagues and friends.

If you have a positive mind, everything will turn out just fine

Stay positive, and reflect and plan for another good year ahead!

Thanksgiving

In a blink of the eye, 2023 is in Month 11 – November

How the months have passed by so quickly.

Compared to the beginning of 2023, people were still wearing masks, very afraid of Covid

At this juncture, many people have discarded the habit of wearing masks,

and people are basically back to their normal daily routine, similar to prior to Covid in March 2020.

The roads are packed with cars, the traffic builds up every single day

People are bustling about….

School students are busy with their school life

Working folks are busy with their day to day office routine

Some working folks have adopted the hybrid approach, a mixture between working from the office and at home

Stay at home mothers are busy caring for their kids and elderlies

People are basically busy, busy, busy!

As Thanksgiving approaches at the end of November,

I am thankful that we, the world have survived thru the Covid ordeal.

It has taken a lot to get from March 2020 when Covid just began up till now.

We have learnt a tremendous amount throughout this time and looking back, it is a very unique experience that probably won’t ever come again in my life.

I wanted to take a moment to be thankful of what I have now.

I have lost a lot as well, both my parents during these past 3 years, that pains my heart and the grief will probably never go away,

Nevertheless, I am thankful for the family and friends I still have in my life,

The love and opportunities that have been given to me.

My calling to everybody:

Please take a moment to be thankful and appreciate what you have today! Very often we take things for granted and hope for other greener pastures elsewhere. But the reality in many cases is that we have already been blessed with the best, just that we have been too blind-sided by what we don’t have and we just don’t realise it!

Here’s wishing everybody, a Happy Thanksgiving ahead!

Grief

What is grief?

Grief is something that sticks to our inner thoughts

It appears at the most unexpected timing

When it appears, it gushes over your being as a tremendously big wave

Sometimes, it subsides very quickly, but at other times, it gushes on and on for awhile.

In general, there are 5 stages to griefs:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

These stages seem to be sequential in order, however, I’ve learnt thru my own experience that one can move forward and also backward, at certain times.

Some days are better than others, and you will move thru the stages sequentially,

but some days you are just so overwhelmed by thoughts of your loved one who has left, and you digress backwards, and it’s revisiting that stage all over again.

You don’t forget grief but hopefully after a period of time, you learn to cope with it

Remember your loved ones in this world.

They are also worth living for and with their love and support, you will be able to go thru this.

Stay positive!

Building a team

_{Disclaimer: Please take note that this is purely based on the author’s opinions and experience.}

Building a team sounds straightforward and easy

However, it is actually a very diverse and subjective topic

There are various ways to build a team.

1. Organize a teambuilding activity
2. Give monetary rewards, gifts and goodies to the team

These are good ways to build a team for a short period of time,

but it cannot take over your team’s heart or last for a long while.

To really build a team and make it last, here are my opinions.

1. Understand the needs of your individual team members
2. Care for them genuinely and get to know them as a person, not only as a worker
3. Sincerely help them to grow into the career they want, bring opportunities to them
4. Be there for them. Always support them and give them guidance to help them grow.
5. Be their friend, be their manager. Know when to be firm as a manager, and when to be their friend and partner.

The key to all the above is to be genuine, sincere and honest in wanting to do the best for your team. With that, you will surely win them over as it comes straight from your heart!

Recognise and show appreciation

I have been consciously appreciating my team in each of the staff mtg via a PowerPoint and verbally in a group.

However today, I’ve realised that it didn’t mean much to my team members and many of them had already forgotten about it.

Saying Thank You and Kudos is easy but it doesn’t give the recipient much of an impact, and they tend to forget as it’s not heartfelt.

Today I learned an excellent way of showing my recognition and appreciation.

Look the person in his eye, speak straight from your heart and mean it, …. and the impact was HUGE!

I ended up tearing and sobbing. as it was soooo touching when words were spoken and the recognition and appreciation I gave was straight from my heart.

When my team members recognised and appreciated me, I also became emotional and cried. They were touching tears.

This will be a recognition session that I will always remember and I will forever remember what my team members said to me.

I’m grateful and glad that I had the opportunity to practise this.

Remembering Mummy….

Mummy,

It’s been 3 months since you left us.

You left us oh so suddenly on Monday, 19th June 2023.

From the time you fell sick and was admitted into the hospital, until the time you left us,

it was just a mere 4 days.

Even after 3 months, I still think back to that fateful day when you left us that morning.

I dream of you a lot, I think of you whenever I am alone and especially when I’m driving

I can still hear your voice, your smile, your antics

I wish I had spent more time with you, I wish I had prioritize more time with you,

I wish you had stayed on longer with us,

I wished, I wished, oh, how I wish….

But, the clock will never turn back, I will never hear your voice nor feel your touch again.

I can only see you in my dreams and by reminiscing over all the times we have had together.

My heart aches, my heart hurts, there is a pang in my heart,

I don’t know whether it will ever go away, I miss you so much.

I hope you have met Daddy and I comfort myself by hoping he is with you, by your side.

I love you, Mummy… no words can express the bittersweet feeling I have now.

If you are in Heaven, watching over me with Daddy

I want you to know that you will always be in my heart.

I love you always, Mummy!

Principles

Principles are neither good nor bad,

they are just guidelines for us as human-beings to make decisions and lead our lives.

Some people are highly principled while others make decision at their whims and fancies at the moment.

A person who is highly principled typically have behaviors as below:

1. Make decisions and behaves based on certain rules and guidelines that they already have strongly in their mind.
2. They make decisions based on the right thing to do, and will treat everybody the same way based on integrity and honesty
3. They are typically not so biased because they are governed by the rules they believe in.
4. They showcase a more equal environment for everybody as decisions are made not based on the person whom they interact with.

A person who is not so governed by principle typically have behaviors as below:

1. They are more understanding because they will look beyond the guiding rules but take into account of environmental factors and human factors.
2. In the same situation, they may make different decisions, depending on how they feel at the moment or who they are interacting with.
3. They cannot really explain why certain decisions are made because there is no rules that they have set but they do think it’s the best decision made and that’s why they do it.

Both types of people can cause frustration to others.

A highly principled person is seen as somebody who is very rigid, unbending and inflexible.

A less principle governed person is seen as somebody who is bias, unsure of what they are doing and causes unfair and unjust in the environment.

Based on all that has been mentioned, do think about which kind of person you would like to be. 😄